Interpret THIS dream, you hippie [CENSORED].

A man can not live on blogs alone, so I fell asleep.
(My Secret Dream Diary: August 9. 7pm to Midnight)

I am watching bizarre commercials with random people like it is some kind of game show. The last one is in german, and a german family (man dad and infant) are watching it with me. in the commercial the people are taking away parts of what appears to be an invisible version of cinderella's castle (that big disney castle, I think that is cinderella's) And I can't remember what the tag line was, but it made no sense.

I turned to the family and asked if they liked the commercial, they liked it, and everything was ok, I guess. They mentioned something about "Kintergarten." at the end so...

I turned to the little boy (2 years old maybe) and said "was ist seu nome" (which I realize is half German/half Portuguese, but in the dream it was all German, baby.)

in a rolling strong german accent the child replid "ICH HEISSA @#$@@$"(I don't recall, but it was some german sounding name)

"Gut!" I replied. "Du sprechen zehr gut..." (At this point I realized I had used up all of my easily reccolectable german phraseologisms.) "... kinder."

The mother then said in German "He knows how to (***) to four!" [*** = a word that specifically means count upwards, but it not the same in German as just counting. I don't think there is actually a word like that in German, I am pretty sure they just say count... but dreams are weird I guess]

The little boy the counted on his fingers up to four.

AUSGESIEGHTNET!(sp?) (Outstanding!) I said to the boy, the family seemed very pleased.

We all started to leave, and the boy was now a baby wrapped in a blanket (like Jesu Bambino), Which fell off of the counter and hit its head on the ground.


I was the only one to notice, and so I said to the parents in german "baby head hurt"
They turned around concerned and I picked up the baby who was starting to cry (one of those siren cries that babies do, starting at a whisper and growing louder exponentially.) When I picked up the baby is calmed down and stopped crying.

The father said "Oh good" in english, laid down on the counter, and went to sleep. The mother had disappeared.

I set the calm baby next to him and began to walk away, when it started to cry again. (At this point the baby had shrunk to the same size as my hand) the father woke up and said "mother, come get the baby"

I picked up the baby in one hand and it stopped crying right away.
the father turned over on the counter again and went back to sleep.

The room was then a doctors office and the counter was now the examining table (with the paper on top that makes it sanitary?) I walked out of the room with the baby, and when I had left the room we were inside of a walmart (it was more like a ShopKo, but it becomes a walmart later, so lets call it a walmart)

The baby was now a little kitten, who I set next to me as I fell asleep, I was exhausted I guess. I woke up and realized the kitten was gone, so I went in search of it. I saw there were some animal cages and knew it would be there. Sure enough I saw it just outside the cage of a grown skinny white cat. The white cat was showing its teeth and had its fur all sticking up on its back. The kitten pushed its face against the cage because, obviously, it didn't understand the adult cat was INSANE. It is just a kitten, how is it supposed to know?

The big cat hisses and snaps its paw at the kittens face. The kitten is starteled and backs away from that cage, walking to the next cage closer to me (there are three large (dog sized?) cages lined up side by side, creating an aisle(sp?) of sorts)

The kitten wanders INTO the second cage, and I get a horrible feeling that the other cat in it is also violent. I see the other cat is a Lynx looking cat, and I know it is violent. Luckily the kitten instantly makes it to the next cage... but that one has a small cougar/bobcat type animal in it, which instantly attacks the kitten.


(who keeps pet cougars at the walmart?)

I reach in and grab the kitten out of the last cage just before it gets hit. When I hold it up to look at it, it is shivering and it begins to cry as a little kid would. (not cry like a cat). It says in a little kitten voice, I was so scared, I... I..."

I am suddenly thinking about when the dad is going to be here to pick up his kitten.
Hmm... I remember that he was supposed to be flying in right now.

I am then inside of a airplane, high in the air.
I jump out of the plane and can see the walmart rooftop down below.

I think, oh, I am almost there, not much longer.
the kitten is laying in my right hand as we fall through the air, when we are getting pretty close to the walmart roof (which looks like a nearly empty parking lot, with a couple heli-pads scattered on the edges.)

I activate my parachute, and feel like I have done so too late, as we are still falling really fast. (the G-force from the parachute opening should have caused the kitten sitting on my hand to fall off, but it didn't)
as the roof quickly approaches I get ready to smash into it, but instead I land very softly, and realize I have to pull in my parachute, or else something bad will happen.

I set down the kitten next to the edge of the building so that I can use both hands. I start to pull in the parachute and wrap it up, when I notice there is the second (higher) chute in the air, and it just got hit with a gust of wind. I am pretty sure this is going to pull me off the rooftop, so I watch it go, since I have no power over it. The parachute flew high above me and then starts to fall quickly back towards the middle of the roof, and not off of the side.

I am saved!

Then the parachute catches more wind when it reaches the ground, and starts coming directly towards me as a blog of wind. This is ok, I think, because I can stop it by standing in the way, and I won't be pulled off the roof.

Right before it gets to me I realize that it is probably going to punch me off the building like a fist of wind. When it hits me it pushes me into the air in a sort of twisting flip, and I instantly recall being knocked unconscious in grade-school when we had an activity with a parachute. I am anxious about being knocked unconscious and drug off of the building. Who will protect the kitten?

I somehow land on my feet and not my head, and I gather up the remainder of the parachute, which has been deflated thanks to my heroics.

I become concerned again for the kitten, which I can't see anymore.

The edge of the roof is now an open street, busy with cars. Uh oh.

I run over to the street and see the kitten is sitting safe next to the road.
I pick up the kitten and realize it is brown, limp, and empty like a shell. it must have been run over by a car. I drop the kitten husk, both out of how gross the dead body is and how upset I am that the kitten died.

Then I woke up.

At least this dream was a lot calmer than usual. Though usually no kittens have to die.