I want to give you a break, so I will just say I don't get out much.
There seems to be enough opportunities, but I am not really interested in the typical escape that satisfied me before. The same places and faces I have been hanging around just don't sate that desire I have to really ESCAPE this unsatisfied pattern I am following. Ever since I realized how worthless my previous activities and principles were nothing holds the same importance.
Maybe I am just don't have a real goal anymore, or maybe my goals I have now are set far too low.The inspiration that was always around before is all but gone. So many things that came naturally seems to require so much more work than before, and the difference in increasingly frustrating.
Like reading, it USED to be fun, but now it just feels like I am simply finishing a book to check it off of my list of things complete. Who cares? I don't really care where I stand with the intellectual book club's best sellers.
I don't have anybody I could talk to about half the stuff I am reading, not a decent conversation anyhow. It does get my creativity gears spinning though, but that doesn't help if there isn't an outlet I can reach with my current abilities. I will just have to keep searching for what I am supposed to be doing with my time. I feel like it is something I already know I want to do, but I have been ignoring it.
Oh well, It will work out.
Expavesco at hotmail
- Expavesco
- on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
no moar
3 comments:
It sounds to me like boredom and fatigue. I don't know an answer, since I am fighting the same impulses/emotions myself. I do think that becoming dissatisfied, however, is generally a sign that one is ready to move on, and is capable of much more, if only the faith to expand and explore can be found.
For example: I became increasingly bored with Arrested Development. And then I found The Office. My life is much more fulfilling now.
You had better be joking about Arrested development boring you, as that is borderline blasphemy.
I have to wait for the third season of the Office to be on DVD... I don't know if I can ever go back to watching things with commercial interuption.
I'm with the fatigue argument on this one. You'll find a way out, it just takes time, and occasionally drastic action. Some people turn to drugs, I run away to remote corners of the earth on someone else's dime, you'll find your path, to each their own.
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