Go Canada, Parts 2 &3 of 14

Sorry if you are checking here for something new.
I have been a little busy lately.

Let me put part 2 of 2 down of the Canadian visit.

We had a lot of fun at the border check on our way into Canada.
We pulled up and this nice young guy was our... agent? He looked pretty average... I could take him out if we needed to make a run for it.

When he asked us how we knew the people we were going there to visit I proudly said, "We are friends."
oh? How do you know them?
"From the Internet..." (Slowly sounding less proud.)
(I had to use all of my will power to not say "we are teh friendzorz from tuh intarnets.")

I guess my explanation wasn't enough,
How from the internet?
Games.
Which games?
... ... World of Warcraft.
There was a smirk on the corner of his mouth, which he was trying to hide. A real professional.
Garrett spoke up from the passenger seat, "Please do not put that on there... PLEASE?!?"

We broke him, the agent laughed and asked, "Which server are you guys from."
"Doomhammer" all four of us reported in unison.
"Ah." (Apparently he wasn't impressed)
"So you play WoW?" I asked him
His head turned slightly downwards to hide his shame, "Yeah, I have played it."
"Do you still play wacraft?"
"Well not a lot, just once in a while."
"You need to stop playing it, now." I said and the whole car started to chuckle and snort... what a bunch of nerds.

He told us we had to pull over to the side and do some things with the immigration people since we hadn't been to Canada before.

Right as I started to pull away from his window I stopped and Asked him, "Which server are you from?"
"Kel-Thuzad."
Instantly all four of us moaned "Awwwwwwwww!" as if we had been stuck by a dodgeball in the final round of the tournament.

(Kel-Thuzad is one of the servers we competed with in our "Battle-group"... and overall they had better players than we did, but our guild still won almost every time we organized and fought together.)

Part 2:
We walk up to a lovely young lady at the immigration desk.
She smiles, what a pro, and asks us for our passports and such (The other guy asked for them too, I forgot to mention that).
Then she had a few questions.
are you here for business,Have you ever been arrested (Yes, that is a painful story),
what is the main reason for your visit to Canada?
we had been trained to tell her that we were here to eat at "Tim Horten's" (the dunkan donuts of Canada) and that we would receive VIP treatment.
"We are here to hang out with friends."
How do you know them?
We played an internet game together.
Which game.
(I can't tell her I play warcraft, or she will never go out with me) [Wait, What? Why did that even cross my mind!]
We play World of Warcraft. I said, with more pride then I had shown with the previous inspection.
...
...
She was smirking.
"Don't laugh!" I protested. "You're having a laff?" I pointed at her looking back at my friends, "She's 'aving a laff!"
(This show is having a laugh)

It was also funny.
She asked for the address and phone number of the person we are staying with.
We didn't have the address (We were meeting them at a specific place)
So she needed to call Jeremy who we were staying with.
Jeremy...? Whats his last name?
We all looked at each other, "We have no idea. We know his pretend name in the game, does that help?"
She was stunned."Let me call him."
She came back with a list in her hand, "Ok, he said there where four of you, Vesco, Garret, Ross, and he didn't know the fourth persons name but said your nickname is 'kiss kiss'.
We all had a laugh.

She explained that we were all set to go and only had to take this list over to the traffic desk.

Our friend from the first window had been shuffled over to the traffic area.
We greeted us, and I gave him the paper as instructed.

He looked it over, "It looks good, Anything else?"

I leaned on the counter with a grin, "Yeah, Kel-Thuzad Sucks... Big time."

He laughed and folded up the paper I had handed him, apparently tossing it somewhere under the desk, probably into the trash.

"Noooo!" I moaned, "I was just kidding." *pretend crying*

"It was good to meet you guys, have a good time with your friends."He said. "You are all done."

We had made a friend for life.

Go Canada, Part 1 of 14[or less]. (You Are Not Prepared)

After the great success of SL-PAX 2006, All who attended were in agreement that 2007 would be a complete loss without another similar event.

After a couple months I decided to take the initiative, and get people talking about it so we could lay down some plans before it was too late. Thus was born, SLAGG.

Squirrel
Legion
A
Get
toGether

Nobody rejected the idea of Slagging off this year, so it stuck.
After deciding on the name we voted on where to go. Canada won, Texas Lost. Sorry George.

Thus ends all actual preparations made by me.

Things I should have prepared:
~The correct amount of extra clothes.
~The correct types of extra clothes.
~My passport (Thanks to my Dad for calling and reminding me before we left the state)
~Money (Which would have been fine, if it weren't for my student loan payment, which I will cover later)
~Activities. (We could have done more than we did if we had planned better)
~Maps. (just to avoid some of the unhappiness of being lost, but what road trip is any fun without being lost?)

Things I WAS prepared for:
~Vesco. Amongst these friends, I am no longer [MY REAL NAME], but I am Vesco, The easier version of Expavesco. Because expavesco is hard to say. Ex. Paw. Vess. Co.
Expresso? Expertco? Expaved?
~Canadians drive on the left side of the road.
~Marijuana is legal in Canada.
~There was going to be a lot of drinking.
~Canadians talk funny. (Apearently it is the Americans who talk funny... I dunno)

Quoted from our forums:

...Orochi (Drew), Tharwind (Ben), uh?, Invalesca (Vesco), Shargas (Norm),...

Interpret THIS dream, you hippie [CENSORED].

A man can not live on blogs alone, so I fell asleep.
(My Secret Dream Diary: August 9. 7pm to Midnight)

I am watching bizarre commercials with random people like it is some kind of game show. The last one is in german, and a german family (man dad and infant) are watching it with me. in the commercial the people are taking away parts of what appears to be an invisible version of cinderella's castle (that big disney castle, I think that is cinderella's) And I can't remember what the tag line was, but it made no sense.

I turned to the family and asked if they liked the commercial, they liked it, and everything was ok, I guess. They mentioned something about "Kintergarten." at the end so...

I turned to the little boy (2 years old maybe) and said "was ist seu nome" (which I realize is half German/half Portuguese, but in the dream it was all German, baby.)

in a rolling strong german accent the child replid "ICH HEISSA @#$@@$"(I don't recall, but it was some german sounding name)

"Gut!" I replied. "Du sprechen zehr gut..." (At this point I realized I had used up all of my easily reccolectable german phraseologisms.) "... kinder."

The mother then said in German "He knows how to (***) to four!" [*** = a word that specifically means count upwards, but it not the same in German as just counting. I don't think there is actually a word like that in German, I am pretty sure they just say count... but dreams are weird I guess]

The little boy the counted on his fingers up to four.

AUSGESIEGHTNET!(sp?) (Outstanding!) I said to the boy, the family seemed very pleased.

We all started to leave, and the boy was now a baby wrapped in a blanket (like Jesu Bambino), Which fell off of the counter and hit its head on the ground.


I was the only one to notice, and so I said to the parents in german "baby head hurt"
They turned around concerned and I picked up the baby who was starting to cry (one of those siren cries that babies do, starting at a whisper and growing louder exponentially.) When I picked up the baby is calmed down and stopped crying.

The father said "Oh good" in english, laid down on the counter, and went to sleep. The mother had disappeared.

I set the calm baby next to him and began to walk away, when it started to cry again. (At this point the baby had shrunk to the same size as my hand) the father woke up and said "mother, come get the baby"

I picked up the baby in one hand and it stopped crying right away.
the father turned over on the counter again and went back to sleep.

The room was then a doctors office and the counter was now the examining table (with the paper on top that makes it sanitary?) I walked out of the room with the baby, and when I had left the room we were inside of a walmart (it was more like a ShopKo, but it becomes a walmart later, so lets call it a walmart)

The baby was now a little kitten, who I set next to me as I fell asleep, I was exhausted I guess. I woke up and realized the kitten was gone, so I went in search of it. I saw there were some animal cages and knew it would be there. Sure enough I saw it just outside the cage of a grown skinny white cat. The white cat was showing its teeth and had its fur all sticking up on its back. The kitten pushed its face against the cage because, obviously, it didn't understand the adult cat was INSANE. It is just a kitten, how is it supposed to know?

The big cat hisses and snaps its paw at the kittens face. The kitten is starteled and backs away from that cage, walking to the next cage closer to me (there are three large (dog sized?) cages lined up side by side, creating an aisle(sp?) of sorts)

The kitten wanders INTO the second cage, and I get a horrible feeling that the other cat in it is also violent. I see the other cat is a Lynx looking cat, and I know it is violent. Luckily the kitten instantly makes it to the next cage... but that one has a small cougar/bobcat type animal in it, which instantly attacks the kitten.


(who keeps pet cougars at the walmart?)

I reach in and grab the kitten out of the last cage just before it gets hit. When I hold it up to look at it, it is shivering and it begins to cry as a little kid would. (not cry like a cat). It says in a little kitten voice, I was so scared, I... I..."

I am suddenly thinking about when the dad is going to be here to pick up his kitten.
Hmm... I remember that he was supposed to be flying in right now.

I am then inside of a airplane, high in the air.
I jump out of the plane and can see the walmart rooftop down below.

I think, oh, I am almost there, not much longer.
the kitten is laying in my right hand as we fall through the air, when we are getting pretty close to the walmart roof (which looks like a nearly empty parking lot, with a couple heli-pads scattered on the edges.)

I activate my parachute, and feel like I have done so too late, as we are still falling really fast. (the G-force from the parachute opening should have caused the kitten sitting on my hand to fall off, but it didn't)
as the roof quickly approaches I get ready to smash into it, but instead I land very softly, and realize I have to pull in my parachute, or else something bad will happen.

I set down the kitten next to the edge of the building so that I can use both hands. I start to pull in the parachute and wrap it up, when I notice there is the second (higher) chute in the air, and it just got hit with a gust of wind. I am pretty sure this is going to pull me off the rooftop, so I watch it go, since I have no power over it. The parachute flew high above me and then starts to fall quickly back towards the middle of the roof, and not off of the side.

I am saved!

Then the parachute catches more wind when it reaches the ground, and starts coming directly towards me as a blog of wind. This is ok, I think, because I can stop it by standing in the way, and I won't be pulled off the roof.

Right before it gets to me I realize that it is probably going to punch me off the building like a fist of wind. When it hits me it pushes me into the air in a sort of twisting flip, and I instantly recall being knocked unconscious in grade-school when we had an activity with a parachute. I am anxious about being knocked unconscious and drug off of the building. Who will protect the kitten?

I somehow land on my feet and not my head, and I gather up the remainder of the parachute, which has been deflated thanks to my heroics.

I become concerned again for the kitten, which I can't see anymore.

The edge of the roof is now an open street, busy with cars. Uh oh.

I run over to the street and see the kitten is sitting safe next to the road.
I pick up the kitten and realize it is brown, limp, and empty like a shell. it must have been run over by a car. I drop the kitten husk, both out of how gross the dead body is and how upset I am that the kitten died.

Then I woke up.

At least this dream was a lot calmer than usual. Though usually no kittens have to die.

uhg....

incoming post about my amazing trip to canada.

It is taking forever to censor it so that I don't break the canadian's hearts.
(A lot having to do with how much their mountains SUCK, Guess who has the greatest snow on earth? read teh (not mispelled) plates baby!)

Ssssssseeya!

I know you were hoping for another story about my horrible/blessed life. But I am just saying that I will be gone for a week. (Or longer if I REALLY like it there.)

Seeya laterz!

Some of my best friends are Squirrels.

(this post is currently unfinished, but close enough that I have published it)

I am heading to Canada next week, and I am pretty excited.

Why?

The creation of this alias, Expavesco, is thanks to the most horrid game in the world... of Warcraft. Yes, World of Wacraft (WoW).

While some people were restless for their 2005 thanksgiving festivities, I was busy 'Leveling up' my Warlock supreme. I played this game almost non-stop for 2 years. (spare time, non-stop...)

I am excited for a week from now, when I get to drive up to Canada to be with my internetz friendzorz, Teh Squirrel Legion. I r Loves them so many.'

The Squirrel Legion is a 'Guild' that I joined inside the game. (About 100 people) we ran around killing monsters and finding super-duper treasure. Most of the people who play live in the Mountain Standard time zone, so there are guildmemebers from Arizona, all the way to Canada, as well as the rest of the northern Americas.

I, being hilarious, became an emeritus leader of the group. I would entertain the guild often with hymns and primary songs. Everybody LOVES to hear popcorn popping on the apricot tree. How do I put this, I was kind of a big deal. :)

Not really.



Now I don't play WoW anymore, because believe it or not it became more like a job than a game. There were schedules involved and people who would be upset if you didn't get on to play the game with them. Serious business. :/

(Example: Listen to this group[clip includes swearing, nsfw] fighting a big monster, and the leader gets mad at somebody because they make a mistake that causes them to lose the fight. "That is BS... What just happened? Tom! You just wiped us (made us lose) and wasted money (Pretend money) I can't have you in the group.")

Anyway, it wasn't fun.

However, I am amazingly cool, and there must be a bunch of other amazing people like me playing this game right? Yes! there are, and have I mentioned that I am going up to Canada next week to get together with them IRL. Also I am excited.

Last year a lot of us went to Seattle and it was a blast.
We all tried really hard to just talk about normal things, but it eventually (after 20 minutes) broke down into talking about video games and Warcraft. Such loosers! :D

With all the time we all spent playing this game together and talking most of us really have become good friends.

Hmm... What else to say...
If you have a friend who is playing World of Warcraft now, please... help them to stop.

(That is the short version of the story, the long version includes a lot of jargon that only warcraft players should understand, for a lot of it only applies to this pretend world.)

For they who find me creepy

My Dad, I sure do love him. He is always trying to help me out. Why just the other day we brought me a special treat. "Look here son," was the beginning of this exact quote, "I brought you a special treat! It is a phone number... from a girl!"

Now I know I am 'teh sex' and everything, but this is pretty amazing. I can get girls phone numbers without even leaving the house! Without the INTERNETS!

Since the punchline never came I had to ask, "Are you serious?"
"Yeah!"
"Where did you get the number? How?" I said to the guy.

Turns out there is a girl who is going to his ward who he decided was 'perfect' for me.
When I asked him what the joke was and what was wrong with her he said, "She's a babe, shes smart, and she is willing to go out with you."

I don't know... but the whole thing seems really weird. He gave me her number and said I should call her. (Which I haven't)

Monday (a day later) he called me up to tell me when she would be getting off of work and it would be a great time for a 'meet and greet'. I told him that a meet and greet sounds like it would have more people than 2 which would make it less awkward than walking up to her after work "Hey. I knew you would be here, my dad has told me so much about you!"

Well, I had plans so it didn't matter.

Today he comes home and he has his digital camera. Guess who went to her work and took pictures of her. Guess again. Right, it was my dad. (not secret photos from the bushes. He just walked up to her and snapped... I think 7-8 shots.)

As he showed them to me, I just tried to express for bizarre and creepy what he had done was, but he is in some sort of other world and refuses to listen to reason.

Now I have to call her... and it is going to be weird.
I don't imagine it being quirky or cute, I feel like it is going to be the most awkward meeting with any female I have ever suffered in my entire life, bar none.

I am dreading it.

If I wasn't me, I could just play it off as "oh, thats my dad.. teehee"
But I am expecting something more along the lines of "Hi... so... hi."
Her, "Can you ask your dad to leave me alone please?"


For the record, she is cute I think, I am having trouble separating her image in my mind from the horror of... why did you do that dad?